We kick off this week by speaking to the four, but by no means least, member of the Deliverers. Yes, it's Hallo Tosis the (at one time) outcast dwarf from the Iron Mountains. He was raring to go for this interview. He was also the one who unmasked my little deception about the supposed opulence of Deliverers Publishing Headquarters. Ah well, it was probably for the best. Here he is.
Editor: Welcome, Hallo, to The Deliverers Publishing Headquarters. It’s great to have you here.
Hallo: Thank’ee, thank’ee it’s great t’ be here, too. But, from what the others said, I thought it’d be more fancy-like, don’t ya know.
Ed.: Umm, how do you mean?
Hallo: Oh, well, er, they said this were a magnificent showpiece an’ all. But t’ tell ya the truth, an’ I really don’t know how t’ tell ya this an’ all, but this here’s a real dump, don’t ya know. ‘T ain’t so much to it. They said the corridors went on f’ever an’ that there was fancy furniture an’ paintin’s an’ such, but I ain’t seen none o’ them things.
Ed.: Hallo! It’s a joke!
Hallo: A which?
Ed.: A joke. A running gag. We’ve been doing it throughout the interview series. Didn’t the others tell you?
Hallo: Wha’? Oh, er, um, sorry ‘bout that. Come t’ think on it, now that ya mention it, they did say somethin’ ‘bout gaggin’. It come t’ mind ‘cause I felt like gaggin’ when I come in, don’t ya know. Sorry I spoilt the joke, sonny.
Ed.: Oh, don’t worry about it, Hallo. Let’s just get on with the interview, shall we?
Hallo: You go it, mister. Let’s get this show on the road, don’t ya know.
Ed.: Alrighty, then. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself.
Hallo: Well, let’s see. You’re prob’ly wonderin’ ‘bout m’ name. Hallo Tosis ain’t such a hot name. It were given t’ me by m’ pappy, Jeremiah Tosis. He has a cuttin’ sense o’ humor, an’ he thought it funny t’ give me such a stinky name.
I was borned in the Dwarf Kingdom. I come from a long line of smithies. Some o’ m’ ancestors was silversmithies, some were goldsmithies. Some were sculptors, artisans, an’ some was tunnelers, don’t ya know. M’ pappy is the Royal Goldsmithy, the official goldsmithy t’ the kin, a right important position.
On the other hand, I don’t have none o’ them skills. I’m the only one o’ m’ folk without the Gift, as we call it. M’ pappy were right fed up w’ me. In fact, he had me banished. So, I took t’ wanderin’ in the mountains, not bein’ able t’ go home an’ afraid t’ be found out by the Big Folk.
Then, I met Eric, Stig ‘n’ Kate, an’ m’ life took a turn for the better, don’t ya know.
Ed.: What’s the Dwarf Kingdom like?
Hallo: It’s a place o’ unsurpassed beauty, don’t ya know. It’s located under the Iron Mountains, not too far from Calendria. There are many villages in the Kingdom, an’ everyone lives in comfort, like. I sure missed livin’ there.
The art were stupendous. There are carvin’s an' reliefs cut inta the walls. Gold an’ jewel inlaid statues line the streets. The villages bustle with activity in the marketplaces an’ forges. I’m proud that I’m from the Kingdom.
Ed.: What are your thoughts about the rest of the Deliverers?
Hallo: I can’t say enough about ‘em. Without them, I don’t rightly know where I’d be. Eric’s been through a lot, an’ he’s a good lad. He had a big load on his shoulders, an’ I’m glad I could help him out a little, don’t ya know.
Now Stig, he’s a crusty ol’ birdie, but he means well. I just wish he’d loosen up a wee bit, don’t ya know. He’s the one what’s done this all before, so he helped keep us all focused on the task at hand.
Kate, she’s a grand lass. I’m glad t’ have her an’ her folk for neighbors. Her pappy, the Lord Mayor is all right, too. Kate helped keep us all together, kept us from getting’ on each other’s nerves.
I think we all work well t’gether, don’t ya know, an’ I’m hopin’ we’ll get t’ work t’gether in the future.
Ed.: What do you like to do in your spare time?
Hallo: Well, I have a new job now, an’ that keeps me pretty busy, don’t ya know. When I’m off duty, I still try m’ hand at metal workin’. I ain’t improved none. I also like t’ go down t’ Calendria t’ see Kate an’ her pappy. I also chew the fat with Cordon, the village blacksmithy, talkin’ shop. Me an’ the apothecary, Mrs. Bubblebeak, I mean Madame Bottleneck, have also become thick as thieves. I go over for a chat now an’ again.
Part o’ me, though, is waitin’ t’ go on an Assignment. I think one day, I’ll be called t’ go on one. I’m interested t’ meet the Gatekeeper. When that happens, I’ll be ready t’ go on another great adventure.
Ed.: Why do you think that dwarves love treasure so much?
Hallo: Well now, it’s so beautiful. It’s the greatest feeling t’ take gold an’ jewels an’ make them inta somethin’ even more breathtakin’ than what ya started with. Treasurer’s why we dig. It’s our whole purpose—t’ find it an’ mold it.
Ed.: Speaking of treasure, what can you tell us about the Jewel?
Hallo: Beggin’ your pardon, there ain’t much I can say ‘bout it. It’s our oldest legend an’ our deepest secret. Suffice it t’ say that the Jewel o’ Paradise is a jewel beyond price, an’ it lies on the other side o’ the Iron Mountains. But it’s guarded by fierce beasts. None what’s gone after the Jewel has ever got back alive. You kin learn all ya need t’ know ‘bout it in the book, don’t ya know.
Ed.: How has the release of this book changed your life?
Hallo: Well, it’s exposed a lot o’ the secrets o’ the Kingdom. That’s been right strange ‘cause we’re private folk who don’t take t’ makin’ our comin’s an’ goin’s public. I almost got in trouble with the king all over agin over the whole mess. But, since it worked out okay for everyone in the end, the king figured there weren’t no harm in it. So, now I’m a lot famouser, an’ folk’re recognizin’ me more. Usually when they do, they got good things t’ say about the job I done. So it’s been right gratifyin’, don’t ya know.
Ed.: Well thank you, Hallo, for taking a few minutes to speak with us. Will you have any trouble finding your way out?
Hallo: Are ya daft? The door’s right over there. It ain’t like this place is a palace or anythin’. Oh, er. Uh, yeah, right. I mean, I think I’ll be all right. Us dwarves have a great sense o’ direction. It’ll take a lot more than a few windin’ twistin’ passages for me t’ get lost, although I might have trouble crossin’ the moat, don’t ya know.
Hey, how’s that?
Ed.: Oh, that’s just great. Thanks a lot, Hallo.
Hallo: How’d ya like the part about the moat? I thought that one up all on m’ own. Right good touch if I do say so m’self!
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